Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Things that go crunch in the night

       Well, I was originally going to start this post by putting an absurd scientific statistic saying how many spiders an average person eats while sleeping during their life time.  However, after doing a little "googling," I found out that a normal person doesn't actually consume a dozen or more spiders over the course of their lifetime. It's really only an urban legend. One site even claims: " This "statistic" was not only made up out of whole cloth, it was invented as an example of the absurd things people will believe simply because they come across them on the Internet."

      I think rather than "how many spiders does the average person eat during their lifetime?"  The question should actually be: "How many spiders have tormented and molested innocent "average" people and ultimately make it so they no longer fit into the category of "average." I have never been the type that screams and runs when they see a spider.  I've actually never even been a little bit afraid of them.  However, I am beginning to become a little bit afraid of the huge welt that one of those fiends created on my big toe, and I really don't think that it can be categorized as average.

     I guess I lied in my last post when I said I don't have a single complaint. (Well, I actually said I didn't have a single complain. And yes, I did realize that wasn't proper grammar right after I wrote it, but figured that it rhymed better and I could just use my "poetic license.")   I could complain about a lot of things having to do with those stupid eight legged villains. Like how I had to wash all my sheets and blankets in fear they would torture me yet again. They've already gotten me three times now! You'd think that would be enough for them. I could also complain about how I had to walk to Wal-greens with one shoe since it really hurt to wear a shoe on my bitten big toe foot! And I'm also gonna complain about how my big toe looks like a hot dog now. 
  It's really not as bad as I'm making it sound. (I was just using my "exaggeration license!")  I do think though, that some of those little devils might actually deserve to be eaten. I'm not saying that I believe I swallow dozens of spiders in my lifetime, and I'm not saying I would want to.  But it might just be better than waking up to find a hot dog in the place of your big toe.


  1. Is your toe picture worthy? ;) Hope it feels better soon.

  2. I don't think it was posting worthy! ;) haha but thanks, it is a lot better! :)